How To Talk Dirty To Your Boyfriend In 9 Steps

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Incorporating erotic language into your intimate moments adds an exhilarating dash of unpredictability. It’s the surprise twist in your love story, keeping things fresh, exciting, and utterly captivating. A naughty message, note, or a walk-by whisper is always a good idea. These quick messages will build his excitement which will help him burst later on. Use any of these examples – the timing and format are up to you.

In the moment:

Use these sexy sentences to build up the intensity of your foreplay experience. Dirty talking to your boyfriend can be a challenging one, especially if you two haven’t explored each other’s wild side yet. Nevertheless, you can still induce him to open up to you his bestowed sexuality as long as you are ready to make the first move.

• I’ll walk you through the things to generally avoid, include, and steer clear of altogether, in order for you to dominate the world of dirty talk.
• Remember it is more about how you say things than it is the words that you use.
• Let your partner get used to you saying certain phrases.
• It’s about making them feel like they are the only person in the world.
• The following phrases are broken into different categories to get you started.

Start your dirty talk via text if you’re feeling truly terrified

At times, you don’t need words to talk dirty to a guy. When you’re making love to your man, show your appreciation with wet gasps and moans. Now that you know to combine sexual tension, and infuse more intensity into your sex life with dirty talk, you can likely see where this is leading. An additional benefit of learning to talk dirty to your man is that it will keep you at the forefront of his mind. You want him to think warmly and affectionately about you, sure, but you also want him to be kind of obsessed about what he can do to you sexually the next time you see him. You may then come up with your own naughty phrases.

The tone of your voice can be a very powerful tool when you dirty talk. A deep and soulful tone builds up the sexual tension and sensuality between you. A higher pitch voice also works to arouse him. Texting is usually the easiest way to get into dirty talking if you’re not used to doing it. Plus, you have more time to think about what you want to say and reply.

If you find yourself at a loss for words, there’s an easy remedy. Start narrating what you’re doing to your partner’s body and how they make you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to go full-on David Attenborough–style nature documentary (that said, if roleplay is your thing …). But it at least gives you some material to work with until you feel more comfortable coming up with your own original material. You can switch between intensities and work up to that more explicit phrasing, or you can keep things more general; whatever fits your idea of sexy and feels right coming out of your mouth counts. “Dirty talk is categorized as [any] communication during sex that enhances sexual pleasure,” adds Dr. Tara.

• If you want to learn more dirty phrases like these, you’ll find them in his detailed video tutorial.
• These are just a small sample of dirty things that you can say to your guy to turn him and make sex a lot hotter for the both of you.
• And if you’ve never asked for that kind of direct, intentional feedback from your partner before, invite them to start giving it now.
• As you might know, if you’ve been reading my work for a while, I have a tendency to gravitate to fairly polarized sex.

Again, there are a whole lot of words and phrases out there, and some of them are bound to turn you on. Finding those words can be really, really fun — watch porn. Ask your partner what words turn her or him on, and see if any of them tickle your fancy.

“Many people find dirty talk off-putting or embarrassing because they derive their definitions and expectations from porn,” she says. As Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist points out, there are a few reasons your partner may have hesitations or a negative view of talking dirty. If you’re in a brand new relationship or with a new partner and haven’t talked dirty to one another before, you might not feel sure about how to start engaging in it. Dr. Jansen says it’s best to wait until after sex—“maybe on a walk or hanging out on the couch, not during the sexual moment”—to approach your partner with feedback or check in.

Remember, there’s a big difference between consensual name-calling and malicious name-calling in, say, the workplace. Just because someone is into erotic massage roleplay doesn’t mean they want to be taken advantage of by a professional masseuse when they go to the spa after a long week of work. Sometimes people just want some love and kinky sexual healing from their partner. “If you’re new to talking dirty, begin with some generous but honest verbal feedback that includes moans, groans, deep exhales, or other sounds to let your lover know that you’re enjoying yourself,” she says. “Phone sex and sexting are often the best ways to practice for in-person dirty talk, because you don’t have to worry about saying the things out loud in front of your partner,” she explains. If you’ve never talked dirty before, don’t worry!

Along with these rules is choosing the perfect place and time for you to hit the road. While doing all these things, be playful and enjoy the whole thing with your man. When you feel that your body is so alive and your sex hormones are at their peak, try to scrutinize first your spot if it won’t cause you or your man any discomfort. Well, actually, dirty talking can happen anywhere, especially in dark, crowded and immodest places. If you feel that it’s the perfect place, then let that cat out of the bag. Then, I’m going to follow up with giving you a ton of lines to use, but know that often the best dirty talk is the stuff that arises in the moment and is unique to you.

Undeniable confidence, even when you’re actually faking it, is also a good way to turn on any woman. Confidence is sexy, and with this kind of proposition, you’re well on your way to having the best sexual encounter of your life. Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a queer sex educator and wellness journalist who is committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Healthline, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called Bad In Bed.